A spurned wife, her gallic husband who ghosted her and a pile of horse poopoo

He was separated from his current wife and their divorce papers were being drawn up but not yet cast in stone, so the lady said when she fell in love with her to-be husband/ husband/ ex-husband. I was rolling my eyes when I read this. That was a massive red flag. She must have been feeling very down from her recent break-up to fall for this crap.

Girls, never believe a man when he tells you that he is separating from his wife or they are together but they are essentially strangers. IT IS A LIE, he just wants to get between your legs. Somewhere his wife is crying or worse, unaware that her husband is cheating on her and thinking her marriage is steady and happy.

And no, girl, he isn't a serial monogamist. He just has a greedy penis, which he wants to stick into anything younger than him.

I spent a weekend reading the birth and demise of a rebound marriage:

Dec 2012
Hopeful of love

Early 2013
Meeting her to-be husband/ to be ex husband in Paris while nursing a broken heart 

Aug 2013
Getting engaged after knowing each other for 5 months
The 7 steps she would be taking to become a stepmom 
Concerned that marriage typically mean monogamy and maybe we should strip societal constraints and allow open relationships during marriage?
Using We-connect devices during long distance relationship (ew, too much info. Article was written in 2015) 

Mar 2014
about registering marriage in Dec 2013 and how it will not bend her to gender stereotypes

Apr 2014
How her husband's ex was terrorizing her 

May 2014
Her May wedding (Dec 2013 was for legality)

Aug 2014
Relating herself as one of the non-marrying kind like Brad and Angie (the ones who were willing to commit to having children together, but not the traditional confines of marriage, and before cracking in the end)

Sometime in 2014 - 2015
Extolling the virtues of a French Husband
Mistakes in handling her step-daughters (one 17 years old, one 6 years old)
Using sex to control her husband's smoking

Sep 2015
An article on ghosting (mentioned inside that she called someone out on it, but didn't say who. She wrote two articles on ghosting during the summer)
Confessed that her husband has been ghosting her all summer (but under a different pen name)

Oct 2015
Falling out of love with the husband who was ghosting her (and sleeping with a 20 year old)

Nov 2015
How it ended in a pile of shit (the 20 year old wrote her a poem on how she was crushing her husband's soul)
Reflections on the end of the marriage

Dec 2015
Throwing herself a fabulous divorce party (and admitting she used to judge ladies who did that)

The happy(?) divorcee wearing her tiara in the middle (her friend looks naked except for the necklace!)

Most Abused word in the English Language

No, it's not "Fuck".

It's not "revert", though that is pretty irritating to read when applied wrongly.

I don't claim to be a word nazi, but I really absolutely go INSANE when I see this word. "Kindly"

Was zum Teufel do people think that word mean?

"Kindly do this."

It always triggers me. People, "kindly" means this:

kindly

ˈkʌɪndli/

adverb

adverb: kindly

1. 1.

   in a kind manner.

   "'Never mind,' she said kindly"

   synonyms:

   benevolently, good-naturedly, warmly, affectionately, tenderly,lovingly, compassionately; More

   antonyms:

   unkindly, harshly

   • please (used in a polite request or demand, often ironically).

     "would you kindly explain what you're talking about?"

     synonyms:

     please, if you please, if you would be so good, if you wouldn't mind, have the goodness to, pray; More

adjective

adjective: kindly; comparative adjective: kindlier; superlative adjective: kindliest

1. 1.

   kind, warm-hearted, or gentle.

   "he was a quiet, kindly man"

   synonyms:

   benevolent, kind, kind-hearted, warm-hearted, generous, good-natured, humane; More

   antonyms:

   unkind, cruel

To me, when a person X use "kindly", it means X is essentially demanding that person Y  to do what X wants. Why not just say "do this", because that is what X actually meant? If X intended a polite request, then X should use the word "please". 

There is nothing kindly about "kindly".

My lovely modus operandi when I see this in an email request is to make sure I slot that demand to the bottom of my to-do pile. Remember, you asked for it :D

Seen at the back of a car

吃饭不吃菜
省钱谈恋爱

We were parked behind a car which had that sticker. When Bobo read it, he said this instead:

吃饭不吃菜

大便硬硬来

 

Hokkien Booboos - Overheard in a canteen

This conversation was entirely in Hokkien, and overheard by Bobo who was standing behind this Indian dude who was conversing with the canteen operator in Hokkien (kudos to him, I can only understand the bad words). The auntie standing next to the canteen operator listened in on the conversation and wanting to praise the guy said this in Hokkien:

" 瘦瘦一枝骨, 功夫慢慢出" (correct statement: 瘦瘦一枝骨, 功夫看不出)

Note: Since I can't write in the dialect, I will write in Mandarin, please interpret yourself *lol*.

The canteen operator said 好黄 while Bobo sniggered behind the nonplussed guy.

Change

I abhor change. Change brings uncertainty which means I have to go manage it most of the time. Which also drives me to anticipate change until sometimes I feel like I am turning into a worry wart or paranoid person who always see the glass as half full... of poison.

So today I am mugging for an exam tomorrow (long story how that happened) and because I am the kind of person who is tempted by tv shows and other earthly desires, I can't study at home. I sometimes think that it's because as a child I was not taught self control. My parents always saw the need to ground me or impose "tv verboten" on me, warden-style that I cannot study well  unsupervised... 

Eg. A few months ago, Arbeit required me to study for exam, 22 topics passing grade 70%. I couldn't study on my own... and went home to my parents, tail between my legs to study under their watchful eye (age: 34).

So today, I went to the library to study because as usual i wasted the morning of my leave watching American tv. It has just undergone Reno (ie the change ) but for once I appreciate the change. Because I am now sitting on a tall wooden stool with no backing and no cushion. If i don't concentrate and fall asleep I am going to fall down and crack my head ala humpty dumpty. Making major inroads on studying, barring taking a break to type this entry.

Ho Chi Minh - Tips and Bits

CHANGING $

My friends were right. Changing VND at the Tan Son Nhat International Airport gets you a better rate than you would at home, especially Singapore.


COMMUNICATION
How best to remain in contact with family/friends or rub it in their faces that you are enjoying yourself while they slave away in their cubicles (just kidding),  get a SIM card while you are still at the airport. Go to the extreme left near airport exit where there are some phone companies and the pretty ladies speak English. I bought my deal (100,000 VND for 5GB data) at Vinaphone. It is an awesome deal. Doesn't allow phone calls, but you don't need it if you can use Whatsapp calls, Skype or Facetime anyway.

We stayed 4 days, I tethered my phone everyday, and between 3 of us, we still couldn't use up more than 1 GB *annoyed* lol, though the likely reason is because my shitty phone has a shitty battery, and dies very fast everytime I tether.

TRANSPORT

(1) When you exit the airport, go to the extreme left end of the airport to catch the cabs (taxis). There are a group of cab company employees in uniform to help you coordinate a cab. Don't cross the road where another group of cab company employees are standing, they serve only members.

(2) We took Vinasun or Mai Linh. Vina sun cabbies were always professional, but the Mai Linh cab driver we took was professional and really funny as well. Both companies use meters and quote in VND. The drivers are in uniform and their ID and names are displayed on the dashboard.

(3) Note the spellings of the two reputable cab companies, there are some counterfeit ones calling themselves Vinasum, ML or use similar coloring. Don't get in if:
- the meter is not pointed to the backseat.
- cab has tinted windows.
- driver quotes you in USD

(2) Bus 35 goes to most major tourist spots until 8 pm. Costs 4K VND.

FAMOUS EATS and PLACES

Here's the map I created for this trip. You can try staying at Alagon City Hotel like we did, it is made up of a mish mash of interconnected hotels that are connected via the first floor dining room. It's accessible to alot of places.

Most of the tourist action was at District 1 as you can see on the maps. If you are in the need of culture, check out the performances at Saigon Opera House (Ao show is very popular) or the water puppet show (which you can also watch at Hanoi).
All the eateries we ate at charged about 50K VND per dish. The roadside stalls charged 20 VND for bánh tráng nướng (YUMMMMMMMY)

SIDE TRIPS
There are many options for side trips out of Ho Chi Minh. You can try the Mekong Delta (2 routes), Cuchi tunnels, Can Gio (for you sun worshippers) etc.

What is important is to shop around for your side trips at the various tour agencies around District 1.  They will quote different prices but some of these agencies are consolidated to one tour agency in the end. Anyway once you booked, don't answer you fellow tour companions how much they paid. May or may not upset you. LOL.

Ho Chi Minh

It's been a while since that Hanoi backpacking trip in 2011. It was a “说走就走” kind of traveling as Misses Bear scoured the SIA deals and queried the group on who wanted to go Bangkok. I replied never while the other demurred due to their own conflicting travel plans. So Miss Bear counter-proposed Ho Chi Minh and I said sure, let's go. It was a really good thing that I hate to go Thailand because of the bombs that went off in Bangkok last week (just a few days before we flew to Ho Chi Minh).

So it was a short 4 day 3 night trip. We all stated our must-dos and our deal-breakers for the trip, which was a wise thing to do, given our very varied interests and thinking. They wanted the Cuchi tunnels and Ben Thanh market, whereas I was obsessed with Pet Shop bags and Mekong Delta (decided against making new cushion covers and tailoring this time *lol*). In the end, we did both side trips and a massive load of shopping. And the best part of it all, we didn't kill each other, except maybe on the last day where we fought over chocolate ice-cream. Nobody stands between me and my Fanny (omg, the name) ice-cream. LoL.

Cuchi was kind of eerie, and its tunnels were claustrophobic. It made my hair stand as badly as Dachau did. I much preferred the Mekong Delta tour where we covered the predictable tourist route of boat -> rowboat -> horse carriage -> boat amidst visiting a bee farm, and coconut candy factory. And despite the dire prediction by the tour guide, it turned out that my tummy was strong enough to withstand the dirty river water used to make their potong coconut ice-cream. 

Ho Chi Minh is more my cup of tea than Hanoi was, but I still think that Halong Bay is the best part that I have seen of Vietnam till date.

Floating along the #mekongriver with the sounds of the mangrove palms rustling in the wind. #Vietnam

A video posted by Gardening Duckie (@meinkleingarten) on Aug 22, 2015 at 9:29pm PDT

Neffe artwork

Vater pointed out that this picture was drawn by my soon to be 5 year old Neffe last week while the rest of us were chatting outside.

I know I have a putrid mind because the first thing that popped out at me is that green phallic-looking thing on the right.

"It's impressive, the size of that thing," I said to Mutter. "Neffe is a confident little boy."

How do you know you have a serious addiction?

It's when it is 2300hrs on a Thursday night and you have been flipping pints of häagen-daz at the supermarket downstairs like a mad woman looking for the elusive chocolate flavor.

Not the belgian chocolate flavor. The one and only chocolate flavor that is created using cream, condensed skimmed milk, water, sugar, egg yolk and cocoa powder.

Gott sei dank that after flipping like 30 over pints, i finally found 2. almost did a victory lap up the supermarket aisle. Dear häagen -daz, i know we live in Singapore but there is no need to stock more than 10 pints of green tea ice cream. It's a total waste of SPACE.

Yours sincerely, 

Your chocolate flavor fan.

Hard copy vs soft copy

I was reading and walking (a fond bad habit I am doomed to repeat with reads I consider engrossing enough, to the detriment of my eyesight) when I bumped,  not literally,  into an acquaintance.

"You're reading a book. How retro," was the dry comment.

At first I did not comprehend his remark. Was the act of reading retro? Or did he mean my reading something in paper format and not electronic format was retro?

My query answered:  the latter.

I don't think I have a specific preference for either format. My preferences when it comes to reading are limited to 2 specific criteria; (1) is it free (library copy or online copy)? (2) Romance/Travel/living in a new country or culture /wwii / cooking (there was a recent expansion into gardening related books)?

I.e., I will read a book if it is free. Even if it is a super heavy tome.

Nowadays most people prefer to read books in electronic format, e.g. kindle or handphone. I totally understand the attraction, its portable and takes up less bulk in the bag.  And we are all used to reading our friends' getups and great walls of text in measy font via Facebook already so what's reading a 1000pg book in equally tiny font, right?

Yet there is something soothing about flipping a page (less so for the odd smell of old stationery glue between the pages or what the previous reader was eating/ drinking when he /she was reading). The act of reading a physical book is a quintessential complement to a hot cup of cocoa on a rainy /wintry afternoon. And that is something that an electronic copy cannot replace.

PLUS, come on, lets face it, we look more intellectual with books on the shelves,  right?

Can't you see I am sleeping?

Came across this cat dozing on a motorcycle while we were at Jiufen, Taiwan. I was drily commenting to Alex that I see lesser two wheeled vehicles nowadays as compared to our trip five years ago.

Also realized that this is the second time Mr B has been to Taiwan. Cheers~!