Scrubbing my Slyvester

Came home in a funk. Took it out on Slyvester, who was innocently sitting in a corner of the room, developing little brown spots (gross). So I dragged him to the bathroom where I sat under the tap and scrubbed the living daylights out of him, much to the bemusement of B1 who stayed carefully out of my warpath.

Why are you taking your fustrations on me? I am only a stuffed pussy

Now he lies in the same position on a foldable table near the kitchen window drying off. I cannot put him outside where he will be stolen. Sigh. If any of those workers look down and see him lying there, they will probably freak out. Serves them right for looking into my window.

Bonding with my cousin over EUFA Euro 2012

Went to a wedding dinner on Samstag. Sitting at the table with my Kollegen, we started talking about the EUFA Euro 2012, especially last week's Germany vs Greece match.

Bet Löw wished he could kick everyone's ass

I managed to stay awake through the first half at least, having failed miserably in my earlier attempt in the week by sleeping earlier then waking up to watch the match. B1, who obviously wasn't trying very hard, could not wake me up when he came to bed. Then again my mistake was to trusting the man (who hates it when I ogle other men *so rare*) to wake me up to watch other men instead of crushing him between my fat paws in my zzz.

 My second strategy of staying awake by playing CoH (Diablo depresses me nowadays) worked better. However the match was so infuriatingly maddening in the first half with Germany missing so many opportunities and only finally getting one in before half-time, then later equalizing with Greece just a few minutes into second half! I was so mad I fell asleep (sounds weird but yes)...and missed Germany's 3 later goals.

My Kollegen were quite intrigued by how upset I was. "Why do you still support Germany if you are so mad at them for missing the shots?" Ah, but you don't understand... I support Germany because it's Germany. Not because they have Podolski, Lahm, blah blah.

Neuer is 我的菜. But I must say I do have a thing for Löw as well, ever since he was the head coach in World Cup 2010. Apparently my younger cousin has a crush on him too =D which makes excellent bonding, though she has mentioned that she was mortified when after telling her colleagues that she crushed Löw, he was caught on camera digging for boogers. Hahah. That's a man after my heart.

For the Win - Naked Shoppers @ Süderlügum, North Frisia

I already laughed my head off when I was reading this at thelocal.de a few day. Apparently this supermarket on the German-Danish border offered the first 100 naked shoppers a basket full of free groceries worth €270. 

Obviously this attracted only the "Why Pay Mo"s and "Heartland Mo"s (which was reported to be made up of mostly Danish...to be fair, the supermarket was in Denmark). Amazingly 250 desperadoes appeared with shopping lists and their naked bits and had to be let in in batches of 20. I suppose the supermarket did not want to get sued if anyone got poked by mistake.

Since then, several days later, Gawker actually provided the video...*thumbs up*

B1 was tremedously disappointed that only male naked bits could be seen, while I was amazed that there were people who are more tight pussy than me (will explain my latest escapade later after I succeed)

Nibblezware's Glossary:

Ang Mo - the usual rich Expat Caucasians that we are very familiar with. They live in Districts 9-11 or Sentosa Cove property and have no problems nailing local chicks no matter how ugly, fat and old they are.

Why Pay Mo (word play on Why Pay More - a Singaporean sports chain)- A Caucasian who brings his whole family to Singapore, lives in condos in less coveted areas, drives Japanese cars and sends his kiddies to locally run businesses.

Heartland Mo (word play on Heartland Mall) - A Caucasian who has assimilated so well into Singapore landscape that he lives in a HDB flat, drinks bier at the coffee shops with the rest of the uncles, takes and curses the MRT, and actually marries local chicks (pays for the cow after drinking the milch). 

Rummaging through the Recycle Bin

The Sekretärin helps some of us get copies of the free newspaper whenever she can. I was on the phone with one of the (censored) yesterday, and was scribbling notes on yesterday's newspaper because I couldn't find the notepad (buried under the rubble that sits on my tabletop).

This morning I decided to clear some of the rubble away because I could not find the hole puncher yesterday. First thing I do? I cleared the old newspapers, and happily carried them to the recycle bin, proud of myself for cleaning (cleaning operations are momentous events, not expected activities).

As I sat down to analyse the discussion yesterday and add in my notes, I discovered... fuck I threw out yesterday's newspapers too! So I ended up rummaging through the recycle bin for the newspapers, and lucky me, the stupid bin was cleared recently, so the newspapers were deep at the bottom of the bin...Butt in the air, digging deep... 

Get a Yap, no more Fap

Kloof an iphone app targeted at pet lovers, did a recent survey of 1000 pet lovers on what breeds of doggie attract the opposite sex. If your lover is your right hand, get a Golden retriever.

The ultimate Wingman - Mr Woof

The top dog breeds to attract men were:

1. Golden Retrievers (overwhelmingly seen as girlfriend material)

2. Labrador Retrievers

3. Chihuahuas (their owners are seen as 5X more likely to be a one-night-stand, but probably hot and dumb)

4. Poodles

5. Beagles

The top dog breeds to attract women were:

1. German Shepherds

2. Golden Retrievers 

3. Labrador Retrievers

4. Siberian Huskies

5. French Bulldogs

   

I only have one question... Why no Dalmatian?

That said, never stand between a man and his poochie. I once made an innocent mistake of observing that a guy's dog's name "chico" sounds phonetically like pervert in a local Singaporean dialect (Hokkein). I am sure if he could send a lightning strike through skype, I would be fried already.

Well, on the other hand, I always liked Labrador Retrievers (specifically the pale colored ones). I always wanted one called Soichiro San (B1 will get the joke) which I will give German commands to bite the buttocks of people I don't like. I am weird that way.