[Violin Score] Braveheart

 

original source: 简谱网

[Violin Score] Back to the Future

original source: 简谱网

[Violin Score] Gravity Wall by 澤野弘之 Sawano Hiroyuki

 

original source: 简谱网

Reading during the Covid-19 Pandemic

For one thing, I was super glad that the national library extended the loan period to 6 weeks for the remainder of 2020, since I am always notorious for reading and then chucking the book somewhere and forgetting to return on time. 

Woman's weekly (UK version, the Singapore version is lame and the US version sucks) was always a favorite of mine and it became even more so during the pandemic. I had started reading the magazine way before, back in 2012 when I discovered it in the library. For me, I loved the short stories, gardening tips and the puzzles, in that order. I even loved to look at what people were wearing (I did notice that the ladies they photographed tended to meet the demographic of their readers. No bare midriffs and short shorts!). But during the pandemic, the puzzles became my top favorite because they kept my mind active and away from thinking about all the terrible things they keep reporting on the news about Covid-19. The editors probably realized that as well, since the number of puzzles increased following the British waves and lockdowns.

Truthfully I thought that the crossword puzzles were very difficult. The codeword puzzles were more my tea because it tapped on my knowledge of English vocabulary and grammar without need for contextual knowledge. Word search was fun and no brainers. They also had sudoku too, which I then shared with my mom and aunts.

First experience of Parental pride from a high five

For many years, I did not have the burning desire to become a mother because I felt that I would be too demanding or harsh a mother, i.e. my child would probably hate me and write her own Mommy dearest memoir.

Now with B, this fear continues to resonate. Sometimes I wonder as a first time mother if I push her too hard or expect too much. I often have to remind myself, she's just a little baby. Don't compare or compete with other mommies in the mommy group (seriously like miss bear said, very toxic).

Today I decided to visit my corlick who had a leg operation at NUH, despite having to haul B along and it being bloody far from my house. I felt bad not going because she came to see me n B at the hospital when she was born. (Surprisingly given my nasty nature, a fair lot of people visited, to both my n bobo surprise. Probably to see what kind of devil spawn will come out of the nasty screaming witch. Lol)

I know she felt vulnerable because another dear corlick just died last weekend. And she sent me a pic of her injury... 

My parents and in laws could be dismayed to know I knowingly exposed B to icky germs but I never heed people who comment but 隔岸观火. And I am tired of my kid being deprioritised in favor of another grandchild.

Dear NUH, please do something about your layout. I could die just pushing B around the  maze of corridors and avoiding the hoards crowding into the visitor lifts. I am almost sorry for grumbling about TTSH which  i have now come to appreciate its excellent pharmacy.

But I digressed. I was surprised to see okasan and two other corlicks visiting as well. Okasan didn't visit after the first home visit but i understand, she has her own troubles. 

I have always noted that I have a child with much superior situation awareness than me. As usual, she was her charming baby self, obediently wearing her new strawberry hat (which she silently abhors) and baby mask, which earned some admiring marvels from my corlicks, who didn't hesitate to share their kids brattiness.

Okasan asked me what new tricks can B do? I said somewhat recklessly that she could do high fives. By reckless:

1. it's a new thing that we do as part of her guerilla crawling (i encourage her to crawl and tag my hand as "destination"). 

2. I dont call this tagging as high five.

3. B doesnt really respond to strangers.  She usually sees my face to determine if i am familiar with the person googoo gagaing her, thereafter choosing to smile or evil glare the person. Like i said, better situation awareness than me. She can also do a mean fuck you glare, like "why the fuck are you making googoo gaga face? What are you? A baby?"

Thankfully, i think because i was super happy chatting with okasan, she registered okasan as ok and immediately high fived her back. And true to okasan's nature, she tested b to see if it were a fluke and asked her to high five again. 

Which she did. 3 times.

I was like... Rainbows and hearts i tell you.

Not in nearly 4 fucking decades has a high five brought a burst of meaning to my hapless life. Thank you B, in that magical instant, you made feel that my decision to stop work to full time parent you was worth it. You wonderful, brilliant brat.

P.S. I hope that when you do write that mommy dearest memoir, you'd remember that you bring joy to your mother's jaded, hardened soul even if she doesn't tell you that to your face.