Friday, March 27, 2009

Top Eight Signs a Girl Likes You"

Disclaimer: Still updating this list, based on my and my friends' experiences. Note: this is not the top ten signs a girl wants to be f**ked by you. Just in case you are wondering. And it is best used on Asian chicks. Also read the article I posted, which I still think is a joke.

Before we start, I want you guys to understand this. The typical Asian chick may or may not be the shrinking violet, waiting to be wooed. But no matter what, she will not want to be the one who initiated the relationship, even if she did and it is the 22nd century already. She will make you think that you are the one who initiated it. She won't want to die of humiliation ten years down the road if you tell the kiddos that Mummy did the chasing.

(1) Super 20 Questions and More about You, to You
Trust me, any chick who digs you, will want to know EVERYTHING about you. How many girlfriends you had before (you should answer >=3 serious/not serious relationships. Don't say 1 or 0 unless you are (a) an honest guy. But remember: Nice guys last, in more ways than one. (b) you hate chicks, and want to die a virgin or gay (c) a loser who can't get over the one who got away. Don't worry, even if she is a shy and retiring chick (who is nowadays???), cos she will get her friends to find out for her, one way or another. Cos "knowing" things about you will help her to better "understand" you (or think she understands you).

She can be subtle or all out confrontational so as to cover signs that she is interested in you. But you will know she does, when she persists in asking you the same question in different shapes and forms over many days (to cover her tracks), if you don't answer her.

(2) She defends and praises you
Chicks are maternal. It is a blessing, it is a curse. It's reason why we can hear the baby at night and you continue or pretend to snore. Take it or leave it. If she perceives that someone is mean to you, good luck to that person.

(3) She is so god damn understanding (used most often by bitches out to steal men from other girls)
I don't believe in that "sa jiao" (cajoling and whining like a child) nonsense. That kind of crap only comes out after she nails you to the wall already. Before you are in a relationship, she will be like so damn understanding and benevolent, like Mother Theresa.

She *very worried*: why you look so sad these days?
You: I fought with my girlfriend. We haven't spoken in days.
She *comforting*: Oh dear, you poor thing. Why? What happened?
You: (say something really dumb that shows what kind of immature ass you are)
She: oh my god. how can she be like that? Especially when you are such a (lavish some undeserved praise on you). If you were my boyfriend, I would never do such a thing. She doesn't know how to appreciate you *sounding really indignant on your behalf (proving my point 2)*.

Just wait. Wait till she sinks her claws into you. She will be much much worse than your soon-to-be ex.

(4) She is happy, just looking at you
Note to the guys: this is not true for me and you, cos it's more because your freaking nostril hairs are poking out. For God's sake, go trim them already. And I mean Brocoli, Heeler and Cocker.
She will look at you when she thinks you are not looking at her. And look pretty darn happy about it, like you made her day. Enjoy that while it lasts.

(5) She notices you
You are just one of the guys in the group. But she will laugh at your jokes, or with you when no one will. To disprove that she just has a bad sense of humor (which of course you will not think so), check that she doesn't laugh at others' bad jokes. And she attempts to make conversation with you when you look lonely or bored, because she is worried you are not having a nice time.

(6) She gives you THOUGHTFUL gifts (this one I agree with the article)
It can be a cheap item that you just happen to need (and she notices and buys it before your lazy ass does), or something she made. One of the best ways to cover her tracks, would be to make the same gift for everyone in the group, but yours will definitely be different from the others in some non-obvious way.

(7) She tries to bond
She hates football, but she will read up on football just so that she can agree with you that Man U sucks shit this season and tell you very intelligently why they hoover that fecal material up. Dude, if there is any one time you can get your chick to do things YOU LIKE, this is the best time to inculcate the love of football/drinking/molesting your car every weekend/pool/Gym in her.
Another sign of bonding would be challenging/engaging you (depending on how perversive she is) whatever you say and trying to incite an (intelligent) debate. You will notice that she directs her questions and pointers at you even when other people are also in the discussion.

(8) She is always around
For you. Online. Offline. Everywhere. But not so obvious until you think she is a stalker or a persistent leech or burr. I hate Facebook, but I think if I were a chick who digs you, I would hang out on Facebook and make really stupid (while trying to be cute) comments on your photos, or "what are you doing now".

This is all I got for the time being. If you are a chick reading this, do give comments on this. It will be most helpful to all the lonely dudes out there I do believe. And also chicks, who are unwittingly sending the wrong signals out. >.<

Here's another top 8 signs a woman wants a man (so coincidental!) by

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