How to deploy MBSA on offline computers

(1) Follow the instructions on Microsoft website on how to download offline copies of MUAuth.cab, WUA (see below), WSUSSCN2.cab and WUREDIST.cab (click to download). You need all 4 to fix the stupid error "cannot load security CAB file".

(2) run the MBSA, then press abort. This will create the offline folder under C:\documents and settings\(local username)\Local settings\application data\microsoft\mbsa [for windows 2003] or %SystemDrive%\Users\UserName\AppData\Local\Microsoft\MBSA\Cache [for windows 2008 and up]. Do not create the folder yourself.

(3) Put in the 4 cab files into the folder.

(4) Make sure that the following options are not selected, and then click Start scan.

• Check for Windows administrative vulnerabilities

• Check for weak passwords

• Check for IIS administrative vulnerabilities

• Check for SQL administrative vulnerabilities

Error # 1: "Computer has an older version of the client and security database demands a newer version. Current version is and minimum required version is ..."

This was a solution I read: the checkbox in the MBSA interface titled, "Configure computers for Microsoft Update and scanning prerequisites" needs to be checked for MBSA to automatically update the Windows Update Agent on the target machine (even if it's the local machine).
How I resolved? I used wsuoffline and updated everything. Then run the MBSA again. 

Personally I feel that WSUS Offline and MBSA are a solid pairing. WSUS Offline will help to expedite patch deployment on offline machines (as a Germanophile, I am delighted to say that this is a german-made freeware. I think the only German-made software I hate is SAP). MBSA will help to check for missing patches. The WSUS Offline is not fool-proof. You can keep running the software from the DVD after you burn the ISO but it doesn't patch completely sometimes. The best remedy is to copy the entire disc contents to the local drive, and run it for a more complete job.

Note: you only have to download MBSA once (unless there is a new version) but you should download and replace the wsusscn2 every month for the scan.

To download the 4:

• Offline catalog (Wsusscn2.cab). This is the offline catalog file. Download it from http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=76054. You need to download this every month. 
• Authentication file (Muauth.cab). This authentication file allows the remote WUA client to respond to MBSA. Download it from http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90994.
• WUA standalone installer. If needed, the WUA client on the target computer will be updated to the latest version. To make these files available for offline use, download the appropriate (or both) standalone installers from the following locations: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90992 (for x86 installer)
  http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90993 (for x64 installer)

Happy 2nd Birthday Go!!!

I remember at the time of release I thought that Google was going to replace Android's Java base to Go base, especially with the court case by Oracle. Guess not. I learnt a bit of it but my heart was anchored on the adorable Gordon itself. Man, it was not meant to be. Of all the programming languages in the world, I hate C++ the most.

PS. Yes I do realize this is the old logo for Apple. =P But I like the contrast, so there!

There is more than one way to skin a Cat

Before SPCA and animal lovers go up in arms, I must disclaim here, this is a idiom, ok?

Anyway, recently I realized that using excel formula can complement and expedite sql extractions (sorry if it sounds unclear, but I cannot divulge too many details). For my own reference and knowledge sharing, here goes:

To retrieve a certain part of a string

Example

extract 3 from I love you :-3  (assuming in cell A60)

use a new column with the formula =MID(A60, FIND (":", A60)+1,2). It will retain -3.

The Mid function extracts a substring from a string (starting at any position), while FIND function finds the position in the cell. If you want the string after :, then use +1 as the starting position after :, i.e. -.

Go Google's Gordon the Gopher

When I excitedly showed this to B1 after my class, he said, "where is the Penguin?!"

Oh.

In any case, I took a cursory look at Go's tutorial, and I don't agree with the other guys (I note that the number of members is climbing!). It's obviously Java/C sharp masquerading as C++. Ewwww.

A Tale of Relatives and Free IT Support

(Note: the blog title demonstrates that this is an entry that was written some time back in June but was not published until now. I am housekeeping the blog and cleaning out some of the drafts.)

Did you know that Office 2007 is deeply entrenched within your new Dell, Acer, prebuilt pcs?

I found it the hard way when I was asked by my aunt to downgrade her office version. I encountered two problems (1) I can't seem to get the office uninstalled by using add/remove programs (that would be due to the delightful Vista, goodbye Vista!!! My aunt insisted on buying her laptop before Windows 7 came out...) (2) Even if I force delete, the jokers will appear again the next time I boot up the pc again, albeit this time with more complications.

Turns out because I have to also wipe out thoroughly the Office 2007 installation files (and other stuff of course, such as registry keys)... I ended up following Microsoft's instructions here.

Have you noticed that just because you have a computer-related background (e.g. software, hardware or both), relatives just naturally approach you to fix their IT problems for free even if they have purchased onsite repair services from the pc companies? You could be a DBA by occupation and still they expect you to take their laptops to bits and add their memory. Worse still, they treat you like helpdesk support (well, if akin to an oracle, I'd not mind so much *haha*), and expect round-the-clock service and immediate/within-business-day response (this depends on how much of a arschloch he/she is) from you. And the very worst of it all is when you are trying your best to understand the problem, they stand next to you and say really mean things like "you don't look like you know very much" and yet they still automatically call you the next time their computer takes a piss. What the fuck!!! Seriously.

Where Have We Heard this Before?

Apple shows Microsoft how a really memorable commercial is done.

This is how I know I watch too much South Park

This is why I use Android (which is based on Linux)... the Penguin rules!!! (Too bad I still use a PC, cos I am such a COH diehard.) And also, why I imagine canadians as this...Come on, let's sing the "Uncle Fucker" song!!!

[source: Image Shack]

Anyway I find the video below funnier.

What does Microsoft's BING stand for?

Bill/ Ballmer Is Neutralising Google.

Sergey may think so. I was wondering what was up ole Micro$oft's sleeve after they dropped Yahoo like a hot potato (Talks of partnership, my foot) even after Yahoo started soliciting for their attention after kicking poor Jerry to the kerb.

According to New York Post's "Fear grips Google", Sergey who with his co-founder Page, has minimal hands-on with the day-to-day operations of Google, "according to sources inside the tech behemoth, is himself leading the team of search-engine specialists in an effort to determine how Bing's crucial search algorithm differs from that used by the company he founded in 1998 with Stanford University classmate Larry Page".
[source: NYPost]

Hate the Sounds in your Windows OS?

Then you are going to hate it more...

But you are not, because you are going to be damn impressed by these. Using ModPlug tracker, some dude built two songs, one using Windows XP and 98 sounds,


the other using XP and Vista.


Which do you prefer? I actually prefer the XP+98 one =]