How to create, and replace a SSL cert in Windows 7

Here's a comprehensive guide from geeks with blogs.

How to deploy MBSA on offline computers

(1) Follow the instructions on Microsoft website on how to download offline copies of MUAuth.cab, WUA (see below), WSUSSCN2.cab and WUREDIST.cab (click to download). You need all 4 to fix the stupid error "cannot load security CAB file".

(2) run the MBSA, then press abort. This will create the offline folder under C:\documents and settings\(local username)\Local settings\application data\microsoft\mbsa [for windows 2003] or %SystemDrive%\Users\UserName\AppData\Local\Microsoft\MBSA\Cache [for windows 2008 and up]. Do not create the folder yourself.

(3) Put in the 4 cab files into the folder.

(4) Make sure that the following options are not selected, and then click Start scan.

• Check for Windows administrative vulnerabilities

• Check for weak passwords

• Check for IIS administrative vulnerabilities

• Check for SQL administrative vulnerabilities

Error # 1: "Computer has an older version of the client and security database demands a newer version. Current version is and minimum required version is ..."

This was a solution I read: the checkbox in the MBSA interface titled, "Configure computers for Microsoft Update and scanning prerequisites" needs to be checked for MBSA to automatically update the Windows Update Agent on the target machine (even if it's the local machine).
How I resolved? I used wsuoffline and updated everything. Then run the MBSA again. 

Personally I feel that WSUS Offline and MBSA are a solid pairing. WSUS Offline will help to expedite patch deployment on offline machines (as a Germanophile, I am delighted to say that this is a german-made freeware. I think the only German-made software I hate is SAP). MBSA will help to check for missing patches. The WSUS Offline is not fool-proof. You can keep running the software from the DVD after you burn the ISO but it doesn't patch completely sometimes. The best remedy is to copy the entire disc contents to the local drive, and run it for a more complete job.

Note: you only have to download MBSA once (unless there is a new version) but you should download and replace the wsusscn2 every month for the scan.

To download the 4:

• Offline catalog (Wsusscn2.cab). This is the offline catalog file. Download it from http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=76054. You need to download this every month. 
• Authentication file (Muauth.cab). This authentication file allows the remote WUA client to respond to MBSA. Download it from http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90994.
• WUA standalone installer. If needed, the WUA client on the target computer will be updated to the latest version. To make these files available for offline use, download the appropriate (or both) standalone installers from the following locations: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90992 (for x86 installer)
  http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=90993 (for x64 installer)

Send snail mail to Gottfrid

Source: http://torrentfreak.com/pirate-bay-founder-held-in-solitary-confinement-without-a-warrant-131211/

The pirate bay founder is held without confinement in Denmark since his extradition from Sweden. The poor guy doesn't have access to internet or anything. Send him a card this Christmas or write him a letter.

Note: mail that does not mention hacking or pirate bay will get through easier...
 
Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, 171084
Att: Jens Jørgensen
Politigården
1567 København V
Denmark

I did not take a Computer Engineering degree to fix your computer

Checking through my posts, I appeared to have grumbled about this before.

Don't you find it extremely irritating that people just take it for granted that you can and will fix their motherfucking IT problem? Even Bruder is guilty of it. Mein älter Bruder who used to be able to fix his pc by himself, has joined the legion of helpless relatives who ask me to fix their laptop/ desktop (so far no one has asked me to fix their iphone).

FreeUndelete

As someone who is too fond of "shift-delete", I sometimes delete the wrong folder in my haste. This is where FreeUndelete comes in. It is quite effective and fast. *thumbs up*

The ten second rule: How to recall your Gmail email

I made a terrible booboo yesterday, and needed to recall my Gmail email.

After hunting around, it seems that if you sent it out, it's too bad. However to guard against your next email booboo, Google does have a function under "Settings-> Labs-> Enabled Labs" and choose "Undo send".

Within 10 seconds from sending, you can decide whether you typed a booboo and undo your send. What I can say is: for god's sake, read before you send, don't be stupid like me. I wish Google labs will allow us to configure how much thinking time instead of just 10 seconds.

20 things I learned about Browsers and the Web

This is an online book that Google came up with to teach people about the Internet and other fun geeky facts when they were showcasing Chrome, with illustrations from Christoph Niemann.

How best to catch your laptop a technological STD

Aram Bartholl had a 'retro' grade and definitely not brilliant idea. In this day of Megaupload, Facebook (I hate u Facebook), bit torrent and other online means of file sharing, the man wants us to plug our USB enabled portable devices into walls....where his thumbs will be (not for long) there for you to share files with complete strangers. Of course this is only available in NY.

I don't know about you but this sounds even more disgusting than a mass orgy with drunk, high, STD-ridden, overpaid and underworked English footballers. Plugging your laptop in is knowingly opening yourself to DDOS, malware, BSOD and even a visit to NYD for downloading porn. Now to think of it, the poor saps who were literally Sexposed for downloading porn via bit torrent can consider this avenue of file transfer. haha.

Oracle PL/SQL queries 3 - How to see invalid view or other objects in the database

To find invalid view, table, java class, procedure, etc in a table, use 'select * from all_objects where object_type = 'invalid';

Oracle PL/SQL queries 2 - How to see list of tables in your database?

Since some programming languages' command for desc is !== database command for desc, you cannot use 'desc <table>' to see a database table's columns when coding.

Instead you should use, select * from user_tables;

If you need the column/size of a specific table:

select * from user_tab_columns where table_name = <table name>

Oracle PL/SQL queries 1 - How to see the indexes created in your Database

Assuming that you are given the user role - 'whatever' and your database is called 'arschloch', if you want to see what indexes are created on which tables in the 'arschloch' database, use:

USER_IND_COLUMNS - COLUMNs comprising user's INDEXes and INDEXes on user's TABLES (user being 'whatever' in this context):
INDEX_NAME
Index name
TABLE_NAME
Table or cluster name
COLUMN_NAME
Column name or attribute of object column
COLUMN_POSITION
Position of column or attribute within index
COLUMN_LENGTH
Maximum length of the column or attribute,in bytes
CHAR_LENGTH
Maximum length of the column or attribute,in characters
DESCEND
DESC if this column is sorted descending on disk,otherwise ASC

i.e. select index_name, table_name, column_name from user_ind_column where rownum <5;

Mein Vater, Java and das Internet

Vater fragtet Gestern Abend mir die Elektronenrechenmaschine fixieren. "Es ist kaputt", sie sagt,"ich account einbuchen nicht."

Ich hab es ist ein IE Problem glauben, so Ich downloade Firefox. Es hab gleich Problem???

Denn ich sehe der Website ist JSP...Gott demn.

"Vater, wie Java im die Elektronenrechenmaschine misshandeln Sie?"

"Die Elktronenrechenmaschine ist flau, so ich lösche Dateien."

"Java? Warum löschest du Java?"

Sigh. Ich aufwende mich und meinen Vater dieser Comic.

Tube2Tone Converts Youtube Songs to Ringtones

Tube2Tone allows people to type in the url to a Youtube clip, and record a ringtone from any section of it. Tube2Tone can also provide a cached pre-recorded copy so you can skip the process of watching the app load the entire clip. There's even a howto on how to download the ringtone to one's handphone.

Updated!!!
It seems to require you to use a paid account now. Try this instead. http://flvto.com/

Others include:
http://www.youtube-mp3.org/

Go Google's Gordon the Gopher

When I excitedly showed this to B1 after my class, he said, "where is the Penguin?!"

Oh.

In any case, I took a cursory look at Go's tutorial, and I don't agree with the other guys (I note that the number of members is climbing!). It's obviously Java/C sharp masquerading as C++. Ewwww.

Super Fun Time, to quote Eric Cartman

Visit SilverArcade.com which hosts free Silverlight games. You will need silverlight of course.

Watch this space for my long due Silverlight game tutorial. I am determined to initiate myself and my gang into the joys of improving ourselves technically.

Go Go Away

Google, already the world's biggest Open Source provider, is continuously moving away from relying on other platforms by either buying them (E.G. Google Voice) or building their own (E.G. Chrome). In fact, why won't Google? With so many servers and talented programmers (who have to spend 20% of their time coming up with new initiatives), it would be a matter of time before they do so anyway, better and faster. Especially since Oracle has acquired Sun Java and MySQL (is Google going to come up with its own relational DB???).

So now, surprise, surprise, they come up with a new programming language called Go. Complete with a buck-toothed gopher called Gordon... haha. He is very cute, even if the name, its mascot and his name, are very predictable. Gordon looks like he is sneaking off somewhere doesn't he? A slacker after my heart. Hahah.

Hey Google, while you are at it, could you build a development toolset for Go as well? I have been too pampered by Eclipse.

Advantages include multicore processing (i.e. running many tasks in //), tighter garbage collection with a supposedly very fast compilation time. It's supposed to be similar to C and C++ *puke*.

Witness Go's compilation in motion:

I wouldn't be surprised if one day Google intends to build its own version of Facebook. Oh wait, that's Google Wave. I only pray that they don't change Android from Java platform to entirely Go. Faint. Think I better have a look before they switch...

A Tale of Relatives and Free IT Support

(Note: the blog title demonstrates that this is an entry that was written some time back in June but was not published until now. I am housekeeping the blog and cleaning out some of the drafts.)

Did you know that Office 2007 is deeply entrenched within your new Dell, Acer, prebuilt pcs?

I found it the hard way when I was asked by my aunt to downgrade her office version. I encountered two problems (1) I can't seem to get the office uninstalled by using add/remove programs (that would be due to the delightful Vista, goodbye Vista!!! My aunt insisted on buying her laptop before Windows 7 came out...) (2) Even if I force delete, the jokers will appear again the next time I boot up the pc again, albeit this time with more complications.

Turns out because I have to also wipe out thoroughly the Office 2007 installation files (and other stuff of course, such as registry keys)... I ended up following Microsoft's instructions here.

Have you noticed that just because you have a computer-related background (e.g. software, hardware or both), relatives just naturally approach you to fix their IT problems for free even if they have purchased onsite repair services from the pc companies? You could be a DBA by occupation and still they expect you to take their laptops to bits and add their memory. Worse still, they treat you like helpdesk support (well, if akin to an oracle, I'd not mind so much *haha*), and expect round-the-clock service and immediate/within-business-day response (this depends on how much of a arschloch he/she is) from you. And the very worst of it all is when you are trying your best to understand the problem, they stand next to you and say really mean things like "you don't look like you know very much" and yet they still automatically call you the next time their computer takes a piss. What the fuck!!! Seriously.

Happy Belated 5th, Firefox

I love you long time even if you are rather unstable nowadays.

Where Have We Heard this Before?

Apple shows Microsoft how a really memorable commercial is done.

Blogspot Tutorial: How to Post a Image on your Blog

1. Click on the logo next to the spell check (see Figure 1)
   
   
2. A dialog will appear asking you to either add an image from your computer or add an image from the web. Don't bother about the latter, it will be very simple to copy the html from the web and simply embed it into your blog entry. (see Figure 2)
   
3. Click on [Browse] to look for an image on your computer. After confirming the image you want, choose [Upload]. You can also click on "Add another image" to add up to 5 images at 1 go.
   
   
4. Once uploaded, Blogspot will tell you it is done (See Figure 3 and 4).
   Blogspot will automatically refresh your entry to show you the image in the "Compose" tab.
   
   
   
5. Sometimes you maybe a little unlucky, and need to resize the image. You can do so, by clicking on the "Edit HTML" tab and within the <> tag you can find something like this "width: 350px; height: 236px;""? You can then adjust the width and height of the image manually, like I did.