Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Display of Male Naïvete

Last Thursday, before I tried to kill myself cycling to Desaru, B1 and I had dinner with our university friend, Lucky. He had invited us to dinner, on the premise of telling us about his newly-started but unstable relationship with a lady who had been cheated on by her previous fiance with another girl. When caught, the man merely said that he wished he were a Muslim so that he could marry them both (what a bastard, so disrespectful of religion and women!!!).

I was very tired and drained that day. Expecting a lovely peaceful dinner where I could ply my friend for information on his latest chick, I was flabbergasted to receive a (I felt) nasty sms telling me to behave myself because he was bringing someone. I thought that he would be bringing her, so I asked him. If he confirmed, I would tell him not to bring her. But he refused to confirm with me. So I thought maybe he was bringing a mutual friend that had introduced her to him, as he was wont to bring people we didn't know (having never learnt the lesson that you must never mix your friends).

Turned out he brought that girl...

Lesson #1 in starting a relationship
Do not bring your lady love to meet your friends, unless you have gone steady for at least six months. You might scare her off.

Being told to behave myself, my rebellious self went on the opposite direction, and became very formal and quiet. She was very formal too, gripping our hands in firm handshakes. She basically simpered through the whole meal, while talking knowledgeably as if she knew the persons our other friend was talking about to Lucky (B1 and I were very confused, thinking what she knew all of Lucky's friends already? How long had they been together? Our other friend, on our way home, said no, she didn't meet the friend they were talking about. WTF?). In fact, Lucky did not even introduce her properly so I didn't catch her name, and it was only when they put food in each other's bowls that I realised she was his latest squeeze (as I said, I was very tired).

I wanted to go home by the time we had drinks at McCafe because I knew I was going to have a gruelling trip the next day (what I didn't realise was how gruelling it was). Thank God Lucky finally caught my obvious hint and found other means of transport home.

Feeling slightly guilty when I got home, I smsed Lucky apologising for my silent behaviour. What was bizarre was that he said that for some reason he couldn't understand either, she found me humorous. Now that is male naïvete for you.

Lesson #2 in starting a relationship
No woman will have that low EQ enough to tell a man she is just starting a relationship with that she hates his friends whom he has known for many years. I would be, but then again, I am a straight shooter. Telling him what she really thinks of his friends will scare him off.

What she will do, is either be tactful and point out something that is nice about his friends, or be fake and lie about something positive about his friends. Scenario 2 kicked in this case, 'coz there was nothing nice about my behaviour that night. I was silent and resentful. How could I have been humorous?

She will pretend to like all of his friends until the relationship stabilises. After which, the man will not realise it but he will slowly but surely find his own social circle growing smaller while theirs growing bigger, as the woman stealthly weeds out the less desirable friends, and inserts those she likes into their social circle. Suddenly it's not beers with best buddies, A and B, but watching concerts with Mr and Mrs L (Mrs L being your girlfriend's friend from work). It's not that your friends and you stopped having the same interests or that you have moved on from singlehood, but the culling of the friends done by wives. How else can she mould you into what she wants you to be?

I did not respond to his sms. I figure that should be obvious what I think.

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