Hell hath no fury like this woman's wrath

I have been having a shitty week. As usual.

But I was unable to destress by playing CoH. Because for some reason, my internet bandwidth has crawled to a miserable average of 5-10 Kb/s.

Hello, I haven't experienced a speed so shit since my 56K modem. I couldn't even log into gmail, for fuck's sake.

But strangely dear B1 was still able to play his fucking BF3 with no problems. Since I was very tired, I went to bed early everyday this week. Yesterday I even fell off my stool after falling asleep. So I didn't mind so much, even though I couldn't do much. Besides I was still sewing my kangaroo back into her body. 

Anyway that was why I was very surprised when my Skype friends said hi to me yesterday when my phone logged in by itself last night.

And today. Today was the worst. My internet was so slow, I couldn't even use google. wtf? Then I heard BF3 going on in the background.

WHY THAT...

"What the fuck have you been doing to my bandwidth?! Why can't I use google!"

Looked very innocent.

"Eh, oh. ok, I will do something about it."

I walked back into the room. Suddenly my download sped up to 200kbps. 

"you fucker! You starved me of bandwidth?!"

"I don't know, I put 300kbps. How did I know you experience 7kbps? I had no choice, your download causes my BF3 to slow down."

"WIR HABEN UNS EINE SCHEIDUNG!!!!" I screamed."The next time you do this I will... I will put rat poison in your food!" (it was a very bad day to piss me off)

[image source: immaclaus@devianart]

The next time he does that, I am going to put my foot through his laptop. I'd see how he plays BF3. As I was angrily muttering that, he came into the room and hugged me.

"Please don't be mad...And tell me if this happens again ok? Don't put rat poison into my food first ok?"

>.<"

A little baby mushroom

I was mournfully watering my plants this morning (it was a bad morning), when I noticed a little mushroom growing at the base of my aloe vera. wtf?

It kinda faded in the afternoon

This is going to sound extremely blonde but how in the world did mushroom pores reach where I am living? Considering that I live on the top floor (I like to think of it as a penthouse, but it is more like a juvie hangout).

On another note, my quest to grow edamame plants (so that I can have lots of edamame to eat) is failing badly. My edamame plants do not look like those that my mother grows in her garden. The little bastards look defeated, crawling out of the pot for sunshine, unlike the strong stalwart soldiers my mother has. I have to admit the area outside my apartment is not very plant-friendly, considering how it can very windy outside (never windy inside the house *%##@). So far I have lost a corn plant and a edamame due to strong gusts of wind snapping their stems.

Huffington's sailthru is screwed up

I was reading an article on The Huffington Post, when I saw this (see the yellow circle) at the bottom page. RECOMMENDED FOR ME?

Am I some kind of perverted fiend? I should make a rage comic out of this :P.

Ok admittedly I was reading this article about this chiropractor who was being sued for "intravaginal massages". I wasn't very sure what it meant, even after reading.

So just now I asked B1, "what is intravaginal massage? I thought the only possible term is intervaginal massage."

"inter is scissorcising." He replied, eyes on the road.

"Then what is intra?"

"Fingering obviously."

Oh.

Beware online (Skype) Scammers :D esp those with the name "Miller"

I was very bored this week, because T still hadn't come back to CoH (longest case of ISP changing ever). So when someone tried to add me on Skype, I took a look at the invite. General Jack Miller from the USA army on a peacekeeping mission in Afghanistan. Many red flags :D but I was intrigued by how far he was going to rig this scam...

first of all, kiddies, generals have stars on the insignia on their shoulder lapels

(1) since when is Afghanistan considered a peacekeeping mission by the USA (lol)

(2) So-called generals don't talk to civilians for no reason, especially since they are not supposed to disclose their location.

(3) He has 7800+ contacts in Skype (supposedly, good luck to them). Clear sign of scammers, they go for quantity not quality

But like I said, I was very bored, and I wanted to know how long he will take to scam me. 

It took him about 2 days (I ignored him most times. COH is more interesting) , after some stupendously dull questions. I was careful not to leak any info. Of course  you never do that, that's how they get you.

Here are some of them:

He asked me how I was. I said I am busy. So he replied he is very busy too. Hahaha.

He asked me if I was single. I said no (just to see if he will continue the scam). Then he asked me if I had children I said no. Then he said that his wife and daughter died in an accident some years ago.

Scammers go for sympathy from women, in fact all men do :D In fact, that was another stupid thing he did. He messaged this incredible sob story in 4 long lines within 1 minute. Dude, I can type super fast (just ask my COH and Skype friends) but even I can't type that fast.
I was going to ask him if he copied and pasted, but decided not to 打草惊蛇.

And then he claims to have adopted a son from Ghana while on a peace keeping mission there.

Ok, now I am starting to think that he thinks I have an IQ of lower than 100. So I asked him, how do you keep in contact with him? He said he hadn't kept in contact with his son for 5 years.

Wait a sec, you can't contact your son, but you can skype to 7800+ people? Wtf hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha.

But I innocently replied, so what do you do? you write? (actually I wanted to be more sarcastic, but I was feeling benevolent). 

He said "NO I WANT YOU TO CONTACT MY SON USING  YOUR HANDPHONE" (in caps. really :D)

Me: no, why must I? 

He: why not? 

Me: I don't know you, I don't know your son. Ask one of your 7800 contacts to do it. 

I swear he was stunned (it was quite hilarious).

So I GIYBF him. It's quite simple really. What you do, is run "Ghana", "scam", "Miller" "USA". You wouldn't believe how many links on scamming sites about this fake "Miller" guy. Eg.

http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=27427 (I am a bit insulted that it is considered a romance scam hahahahahahahha).

Dude, pls be more creative and download someone else's photo. You can't keep using the same stuff. And do a more believable story ok? :D I really pity the guy whose photos he stole. Just imagine that poor guy innocently walking around in Afghanistan and this woman in a burqa storms up and slaps him very hard. And him not knowing why. Hahahahaha. Total joke. Nah, this guy is fucked, poor thing. This is why you don't upload your real photos online, silly.

Still it was quite funny and I had a lot of fun because I got to learn about USA military ranks. I immediately sent him the link while waiting for him to digest the lack of logic in his speech and blocked him. Oh dear, should I not have warned him?

Anyway read up on other funny stuff on scammers. Apparently US military is now the new Nigerian scam. Gold mines are so yesterday. You'd know they would finish tapping that by now. hahah
http://militarygear.com/asp/2010/12/20/new-online-military-scammers/

Maybe I shouldn't laughed that hard :D. I might have fallen for the trick if he looked like this...*lol*

Ah, my one and only Jim Caviezel (in the Thin Red Line)

I found this in a library book

Banned again for chatting too much on Company of Heroes *haha*

If only I could get S$1 for everytime this stupid game bans me from chatting. =D

Company of Heroes is clearly not made for women.