巧克力熔岩蛋糕 Chocolate lava cake ... Not

Came across this recipe, it was really easy for a molten chocolate lava cake. So decided to give it a try after dinner today. I cooked very small portions for dinner tonight, to Bobo's shock. Naturally he was enthusiastic when I said I was going to bake molten lava cakes.

Don't look too closely at the expiry dates :D

Oops, didn't have any ramekins, so I used cupcake shells to hold the cakes (note to self, should reduce the baking time. I also used chocolate chips leftover from the time my neffe came over to bake cupcakes (that was a terrible nightmare). As it was, I actually increased the time to 15 min, instead of the required 12). No wonder when they came out they looked like erupted volcanoes.

Chocolate lava cake
50g chocolate
40g cream
35g Caster sugar
1 egg
25g Low gluten flour/ cake flour

Melt the chocolate in a bowl over boiling water. After it melts,  add the cream to the chocolate and continue melting.
Beat eggs,  add sugar to it then pour into the chocolate mixture.
Mix the flour well  into the mixture. Pour into a ramekin and set aside.
Set oven to 200 degree Celsius. When hot, put cake into oven for 12 min.

Schokolade lavakuchen (Deutsch Rezept)
50g schokolade
40g sahne
35g streuzucker
1 ei
25g kuchenmehl

Schmelzen der schokolade in einen Schüssel auf kochende wasser. wenn der schokolade schmelzt, fügen die sahne hinzu und schmelzen mal wieder.

Schlagen  das ei schaumig. fügen den zucker bevor in schokoladegemisch einfüllen.

Mischen das mehl in schokoladegemisch. einfüllen in eines  Souffléförmchen und bewahren auf.

Backen am 200 grad celsius für 12 minuten.

Nameko なめこ

There seems to be a new japanese kiddy anime called なめこ (meaning mushroom), which is deadly popular today. When I read about it on my favorite blog, I couldn't help but think, doesn't think thing look like a cross between an inverted nose and a penis?

Check out the official website here.

Huffington's sailthru is screwed up

I was reading an article on The Huffington Post, when I saw this (see the yellow circle) at the bottom page. RECOMMENDED FOR ME?

Am I some kind of perverted fiend? I should make a rage comic out of this :P.

Ok admittedly I was reading this article about this chiropractor who was being sued for "intravaginal massages". I wasn't very sure what it meant, even after reading.

So just now I asked B1, "what is intravaginal massage? I thought the only possible term is intervaginal massage."

"inter is scissorcising." He replied, eyes on the road.

"Then what is intra?"

"Fingering obviously."

Oh.

Rage Comic: A Man, a Pregnancy Test Kit, & a Hidden Suprise in his Right Nut

A man found a pregnancy test kit his ex left behind.

He used it for a lark, to discover he was "pregnant".

He told his friend, who turned it into a Rage Comic (original pic below has been modified by me *in red*) for other Redditors to enjoy.

In >3 days, 1300 comments were posted to tell the guy to get checked for testicular cancer.

So he did. And found out he got a nasty surprise in his right nut.

Apparently pregnancy tests measure for beta human chorionic gonadotropin, which is the sign for possible pregnancy. What I want to know is, what other forms of cancer does it recognize?

Reddit saves lives :).  

Haven't been blogging much

Work has been a scream!!!!!!!!!!! [src: dailymail]

A blog I used to read had this motto "This too shall soon pass... >.<".

Hope it happens soon. I am going crazy!!!! Looks like I got to keep reminding myself to...

Nobody messes with Nobita

[src: itaishinja.com]

Not when Doraemon is around :D

I am trying to figure out what people are saying in 2ch. Not sure what is the diff between 2ch and 4ch but apparently, they are treasure troves like reddit. So I am running google translate on the words. Sigh. B1 wouldn't help me translate, claiming that his Japanisch is bad.

Oh for the love of Man - HeTexted

You know, the sad affliction that plagues only women, the need to analyze, decipher, interpret his very plain and simple black words that appear on your IM, handphone screen or email for hidden clues, motive, and intentions.

Men on the other hand, are more QED, they just try harder to please/ annoy the girls they like, and not at all for those they don't like. Seriously, only women would bother wondering about the nuances behind words. But I can totally relate, because it is like i-wish-the-earth-will-swallow-me-up kind of embarrassing if you misinterpret his intentions, and then confess to/avoid him only to find out that he "eh, don't know why, I just like to talk to you". (This happened to me before, what the fuck is this?)

Now, if you read those bloody words for the umpteeth time and still can't figure out whether he likes you, you can now post it on http://hetexted.com/ for the whole world to see and analyze with you whether he's into you, not into you or the verdict is still out. Because suffering is not complete unless you share with others.

My verdict? So much fun.

百度十大神兽 China's top 10 Mythical creatures

Disclaimer: Blog Author(s) do not claim any bias/ allegiance or derogatory perceptions against any political parties. The following entry purely mortifies the gentle reader with the usual sexual connotations that appear ever so frequently on this blog. Besides this story is bloody old (from 2009)...

1. 草泥马, Cǎo Ní Mǎ (literally: Fuck your Mother)
Supposedly a series of alpaca

This and all similar cute pics are from woyaoqian005

草泥马肏你妈[img src: bbs.ikaka.com]

2.  法克鱿, Fǎ Kè Yóu (literally "French-Croatian Squid" or Fucker you)

Supposedly an aggressive European squid discovered simultaneously by France and Croatia (how convenient) and is said to release a white-colored liquid when agitated.

3. 雅蠛蝶, Yǎ Miè Dié, (literally "Small Elegant Butterfly" or 辞めて or "Please stop")

Supposedly a butterfly which name is the unfortunate phonetic equivalent of "辞めて" wailed/muttered/whined/moaned by Japanese AV actresses in heat. Said butterfly was discovered on 1 Jan 2009 at Qinghai-Tibetan Plateau, and legend has it that it was the transformation of a Japanese girl after the harsh pleasures pressures during a romantic relationship.

4. 菊花蚕, Jú Huā Cán, (literally "Chrysanthemum Silkworms" or "anus worms")/ (literally "Broken Chrysanthemums" or broken anus)

Ah well, you know what are silkworms, except these supposedly consumed chrysanthemums and not mulberry leaves. If you are familiar with Jay Chou's 菊花台, try re-singing the line ""菊花残，满地伤" (Chrysanthemums scattered, ground filled with wounds/the wounded) as "菊花蚕，满腚伤" ("Chrysanthemum(Anus)" worms, buttocks covered with wounds).

5. 吉跋猫, Jí Bá Māo, (literally "Lucky Journey Cat")

Phonetically similar to 鸡巴毛, i.e. pubic hair. Legend has it that that kitty lives in dark, damp environments and competes for food with the White Tiger (white tiger being a slang term for a woman's shaved pubic area).

6. 尾申鲸, Wěi Shēn Jīng, (literally "Stretch-Tailed Whale" or 卫生巾, i.e. menustral pads)

This creature was hunted for clothing material to manufacture women's lingerie and was discovered by eunuch Zheng He during his maritime travels.

7.潜烈蟹, Qián Liè Xiè, (literally "Hidden Fiery Crab" or qián liè xiàn (前列腺), i.e. prostrate glands). 

A legendary crab that once stopped up the Grand Canal, i.e. the urinary tract. 

8. 达菲鸡, Dá Fēi Jī, (literally "Intelligent Fragrant Chicken" or 打飞机 Dǎ Fēi Jī, i.e. fapping). Species of bird that likes exercise, and the males use neck spasms and spit out a white secretion to impress females during mating season.

 9. 吟稻雁, Yín Dào Yàn, (literally "Singing Field Goose"  or 阴道炎 , i.e. vaginal infection). 

A large goose dove into a certain field, damaging it and causing the local farmers to come down with a strange sickness during Kangxi period.

10.鹑鸽, Chún Gē, (literally "Quail Pigeon" or  春哥).

A species of bird is formerly found in the area that is now Yemen. 
The 春 Chun can also refer to fa chun (发春), which is slang for sexual arousal.

For the Win - Naked Shoppers @ Süderlügum, North Frisia

I already laughed my head off when I was reading this at thelocal.de a few day. Apparently this supermarket on the German-Danish border offered the first 100 naked shoppers a basket full of free groceries worth €270. 

Obviously this attracted only the "Why Pay Mo"s and "Heartland Mo"s (which was reported to be made up of mostly Danish...to be fair, the supermarket was in Denmark). Amazingly 250 desperadoes appeared with shopping lists and their naked bits and had to be let in in batches of 20. I suppose the supermarket did not want to get sued if anyone got poked by mistake.

Since then, several days later, Gawker actually provided the video...*thumbs up*

B1 was tremedously disappointed that only male naked bits could be seen, while I was amazed that there were people who are more tight pussy than me (will explain my latest escapade later after I succeed)

Nibblezware's Glossary:

Ang Mo - the usual rich Expat Caucasians that we are very familiar with. They live in Districts 9-11 or Sentosa Cove property and have no problems nailing local chicks no matter how ugly, fat and old they are.

Why Pay Mo (word play on Why Pay More - a Singaporean sports chain)- A Caucasian who brings his whole family to Singapore, lives in condos in less coveted areas, drives Japanese cars and sends his kiddies to locally run businesses.

Heartland Mo (word play on Heartland Mall) - A Caucasian who has assimilated so well into Singapore landscape that he lives in a HDB flat, drinks bier at the coffee shops with the rest of the uncles, takes and curses the MRT, and actually marries local chicks (pays for the cow after drinking the milch). 

Get a Yap, no more Fap

Kloof an iphone app targeted at pet lovers, did a recent survey of 1000 pet lovers on what breeds of doggie attract the opposite sex. If your lover is your right hand, get a Golden retriever.

The ultimate Wingman - Mr Woof

The top dog breeds to attract men were:

1. Golden Retrievers (overwhelmingly seen as girlfriend material)

2. Labrador Retrievers

3. Chihuahuas (their owners are seen as 5X more likely to be a one-night-stand, but probably hot and dumb)

4. Poodles

5. Beagles

The top dog breeds to attract women were:

1. German Shepherds

2. Golden Retrievers 

3. Labrador Retrievers

4. Siberian Huskies

5. French Bulldogs

   

I only have one question... Why no Dalmatian?

That said, never stand between a man and his poochie. I once made an innocent mistake of observing that a guy's dog's name "chico" sounds phonetically like pervert in a local Singaporean dialect (Hokkein). I am sure if he could send a lightning strike through skype, I would be fried already.

Well, on the other hand, I always liked Labrador Retrievers (specifically the pale colored ones). I always wanted one called Soichiro San (B1 will get the joke) which I will give German commands to bite the buttocks of people I don't like. I am weird that way.

Man Writer or Woman Writer - Guess who wrote these naughty erotica?

I got 8/10 correct. Could have been 9/10 if I hadn't been butt itchy and changed my answer for #2. Try the quiz out. How did you do?

This explains a lot - Bier makes you cleverer

A new study from the University of Illinois suggests that drinking alcohol can actually make men solve creative problems better than when they are sober.

Here's the great wall of text: (original article)

Astonishingly, those in the drinking group averaged nine correct questions to the six answers correct by the non-drinking group. It also took drunk men 11.5 seconds to answer a question, whereas non-drunk men needed 15.2 seconds to think. Both groups had comparable results on a similar exam before the alcohol consumption began.

It's important to note that their level of alcohol consumption was below the legal limit, and it worked on creative problems but not on working memory problems. According to Wiley, alcohol improves creative memory by decreasing working memory, which is the ability to remember one thing while you're thinking of something else.

Said Wiley, "Sometimes it's good to be distracted."

This explains why I have so much more fun talking to slightly wasted dudes, especially B1. You cannot believe the stuff they can come up with. A friend was deeply insulted when I said I preferred when he was drunk. Not that he wasn't entertaining sober, but drunk is so much higher a plateau in entertaining. Not too drunk because if they are too drunk, they just no longer make sense anymore. This test kind of sucks, because women also behave the same way methinks. At least it will explains why I always come up with god awful jokes when I am tipsy. Suddenly EVERYTHING is FUNNY. And also why when B1 tests me on Math problems to assess my sobriety, I always can do it, even when it is something obscure like 134*18. =D

Trinken Trinken, dudes!

Singapore Election 2016 - *Kee Chiu* and vote for me

Little MP visits heartland issues on HDB, ponding and MRT breakdown.

Why are Boobs Bad for Crime Fighting?

I woke up sleep deprived and googled "boobs" for some reason. I will probably be mistaken as a horny 17 year old by Google's horrible ad-prediction engine now *not really caring*.

Duckie Boo Part I and Part II

I am doing my copycat thing again. I saw a picture like this on etsy, but I forgot the link (sorry!).

Stage 1

I was going to paint something else, but I remembered that I had prepared the canvas already (meaning the above), so might as well apply stage 2.

Stage 2

Made a major mistake. I forgot which exact blue paint  did I use, as well as how many parts of white and blue did I use to mix the top and the bottom... damn. Had to repaint the entire top again, as you can see it is lighter in shade than it was in stage 1.

Stage 3 will be adding the eyes, more shadows and shading. I broke my paintbrush... the one I use for shading...I need to wash the brushes with lesser force.

Forever Alone and Troll Face

Press "cc" at the bottom right of the embedded youtube player to see the subtitles.

This clip is really odd. The lady is very sad when she explains that she is trapped in a loveless marriage with the man who wouldn't stop laughing ever since he had a hip operation.

Worse thing, while she was saying glumly and crying a little about how miserable she is, he was laughing. The fact that he doesn't mean to laugh, just makes it fifty shades of fucked up.

I thought his laughter was very infectious. I couldn't stop laughing especially as he was clutching Ernie. I want one too!!! I am fifty levels of fucked up too...

This is why you are fat 3 - Colleagues who poison you

Illustrations by John S. Dykes [full article @ Wall Street Journal]

I am not sure whether this happens in your office. But in my office, it is more of a case of "I am trying out a new recipe, would you like to try?" =D I have to admit, I used to be the prepetrator. I used to bake for Valentine's (I <3Valentine's, as you know), Christmas and during 端午节 I used to make my specialty rice dumplings, i.e. endamame + 三杯鸡, and passed them around. Haven't done that this year because I am too busy. I already cook at the new apartment now though I still get grumbles from B1 for not cooking enough times a week. Hey I am tired too! Since I always take my time to cook, I waste about 8 hours per weekend for my mis en place, which robs me of my painting time.

Anyway I will QC before I give them out, since I am attention-hungry, so I crave the praise I get for them *shameless*. Sometime ago, a guy I knew tried to bake cheesecakes for his friend's birthday, and used to pass his failures around to get feedback. Since I was hardly around as I was always at meetings, I did not get a try until several attempts later. I tried a bite, but it tasted really mechanical and nasty. Note: it was not cheesecake because he realized he was not up to it, so he dumbed it down to a ready mix chocolate cake.

"What is this? Where did you buy this from?" I asked him suspiciously. By that time, nobody from the office wanted to eat his failures, and he used to put his cake on tissue for the others (which they would discreetly dispose of after a while).

"I bought this at the shop across from NTUC". WTF the dollar shop? Other than bacon, pork balls, and sometimes cookies, I cut down on processed foods as much as possible and cook from scratch (another reason for the 8 hour mis en place). To know that it came from a shop which brings in foodstuff of dubious origins!

I knew this guy was (sweet but) a tight pussy but this was beyond.... I excused myself, went to the toilet and threw every bit of that vile brown crap up. Anyway this also explains why I have not been into baking or eating cakes recently.

Come Naked, Bring Bier

Thank you all for participating in the recent survey. I shall assume no one chose more than once.

Only People Who Play CoH will get this joke

How I feel when I have to wait for my friends to finish their game and then they disappear after I had to log in again due to NAT error.

*chill down my spine*

We went to watch Act of Valor yesterday. I have no idea how that show translates to Battlefield 3. All I know was that it's a blatant play on the title Tales of Valor (Company of Heroes).

Still, the show was nice. I liked it a lot, because I have been watching documentaries on the Seal Teams. I would watch it again =D. I was so inspired by its violence that I went to play Razing Storm which I had stopped playing after completing the game once or twice.

btw I play much better than the person in this video. Natürlich, considering how much money I spent on this game to destress...

B1 was downstairs buying something so I started first. I felt someone watching me out of my peripheral vision. Scowling, I turned around during one of the stage's breaks, to notice this horrible uncle watching me. Must have been a wonderful sight for him, since my body was facing him because of the way I was holding the gun and I know the gun has recoil. I gave him a dirty look and he had the cheek to smile at me, unabashed. I felt like bashing him with the gun.
Luckily B1 showed up and blocked his view after that :P

This reminded me of a comic book I read recently. Long story short, the lady author was saying that as we grow older, men and women's attention travel downwards to the feminine butt. Not sure if everyone agrees with this, though. English translation (this book was translated from Japanese to Mandarin actually): Our interests sure are strange. When we are young, we always focus on the upper body, especially the face and breasts. Then as we grow older, our peripheral vision slowly moves to the lower half of the body. Now we focus on the ass and both legs. Most people are like that, me as well. I admit that I am fascinated by boobs, so before I turned 30, I was all about developing voluptuous breasts. As my ass wasn't very special, so I never spent much effort on it during my exercise. (blah blah, I returned the book and I can't see the rest of the words clearly, so I will stop here). 

Anyway what is interesting is the picture on the left, the uncle likes the butt while the younger guy likes the boobs. Beware when taking Japanese Trains. :P However to me, I think the only difference is that older men don't give a flying fuck when they get caught looking at you. They will just continue to stare and stare, while younger guys will be more discreet. >.<"