Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Avoid dating such Men

(Most updated: 31 May 2010)

We were bored one day, during the taxi ride from one of our offsite meetings. So my colleague and I leaned back and discussed what we found what breaks the camel's back for us when it comes to eligible bachelors.

1. Calculating/ Cheap/ Stingy Tight Pussies (i.e. "niao")
We detest men who break down the bill to the very last cent when it arrives at the table. There is no need to be so calculating. We all work, we all draw an income. Don't make it look like we are trying to suck you dry (unfortunately not the kind of sucking you want *haha*). The worst specimen would be the one who suavely cards it for the entire table, then starts calculating and haggling with every man or woman at the table for the portion they owe him. Immediately. As if he is afraid everyone will run off without paying. Cheap. If you can't afford it, stay single.

2. Petty and vindictive
Small minded, high strung men who are easily triggered by an innocent careless remark, are very scary. The worse kind are those who don't tell you why they are mad, and then blow up every and any chance they get and you don't know what happened at all. Almost womanlike, but more vicious in retaliation. My cousin once had a best friend whose ex boyfriend took revenge on her by spreading vile rumors about her to his female classmates and they turned the whole school against her. Overnight persona non grata.

3. The Anti-Family
This was something an older female colleague told me she was advised by more experienced colleagues (kind of like passing down the knowledge) before. Never be involved with a guy who does not have a close relationship with his family. First of all, you will feel the tension when you go to his place, and like all lovely collectivist families, they will unfairly blame you for causing or not bothering to help abate the unhappiness and tension, instead of acknowledging their own fault, even if you came into play much later in the game. Second of all, he will never be able to interact favourably with your own family as well, much less your future family together.

4. The Garden Path Pied Piper
He would be the reason why you are chanting "he loves me, he loves me not..." as you tear hapless flowers. He is nice to every girl (resulting in unhappy misunderstandings, pretends to be super caring and not want to hurt anyone's feelings but ends up prolonging their misery. He just keeps baiting you on and on until you're interested, and then he blindsides you with a crushing "I treat you like my sister/ we are friends". But don't worry, he gets his just deserts. Because the girl he is really interested in will either never realise that he is interested in her (he is usually very gutless and doesn't dare to declare his love) or become insecure and dump him (because he is nice to every girl).

5. Tactless shits
I find men who say something like this "I'd hate to say this..." (but they still say it anyway), or whet your appetite with some caustic remark then refusing to explain what they mean, or say really unnecessary and mean things then create a backdoor for themselves by saying "I was just kidding/saying" or "you know I didn't mean it". If you think it was an unnecessary remark, then don't say it. Don't cause a well of hurt then backtrack and say you didn't mean it. That's crap and really bitchy when you are supposed to be a dog.

6. Tiny Men with Giant Egos
This include men who cannot handle being the butt of a joke, or overcompensate for their tiny wee wee by buying huge fuel-guzzling cars (I especially detest MPV and SUV drivers). The worst of this specimen would be those who deliberately hurt others by mocking or teasing them and yet cannot get a handle on their anger when the tables are turned.

7. Impatient Men

There is a Chinese phrase people use especially when they almost get sideswiped by a speeding driver; "赶着去投胎" (direct translation: dashing to reincarnate) Men who cannot wait are the worst. I recently travelled with a bunch of too-long bachelors on a cycling trip. Their idea of waiting? They cycled way ahead to the three pit stops, where they refreshed themselves while I paddled far behind in the middle of nowhere with no streetlights. When I finally caught up, they deemed that I have not killed myself and they rushed off again, leaving me at the pit stop. No such thing as looking after you, wtf. I will be safer travelling with a pack of wolves than with them. At least the wolves will protect me.

The list will be continued...

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