Excerpt from What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love And Marriage: Lessons For People From Animals And Their Trainers, by Amy Sutherland
1) STOP NAGGING, STOP SHOUTING
Punishment tends to have nasty side-effects such as apathy, fear and aggression. None of these are conducive to learning. A scared or raging animal does not make a good student.
2) IDENTIFY YOUR SPECIES
3) IGNORE BAD BEHAVIOR
"...rather than punish or draw attention to behaviour you don't like, you should simply ignore it."
4) GOOD BOY!
Just as ignoring your partner's irritating habits will help to wean him off them, rewarding the things he does right - just as an animal trainer would - will also reinforce good behavior.
5) LURING AND BAITING
6) ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN
"you need to break the task down into baby steps and focus on the most important part of it...Overcomplicated and confused messages about what's required will get you nowhere Raising the bar not only confuses men as to what you want from them, but it also demotivates."
7) DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
"...Not taking your partner's actions personally is liberating, but no easy task. I realised that I, like many mates, took way too much personally - and often saw offence where none was intended."
8) DON'T DOMINATE
"... (should) guard against their deep instinct to boss another (person) around, as it does not encourage a positive relationship with your (man).
Instead, you have a relationship built on fear and resentment rather than one centred around trust and love."
9) PICK YOUR MOMENT
"People, like animals, aren't wired to learn or teach lessons when they're out of sorts. Instead, be sure to choose a time to 'train' your partner when you are both feeling calm and in a good mood."
10) READ THE CUES
[Source: Daily Mail]
1) STOP NAGGING, STOP SHOUTING
Punishment tends to have nasty side-effects such as apathy, fear and aggression. None of these are conducive to learning. A scared or raging animal does not make a good student.
2) IDENTIFY YOUR SPECIES
3) IGNORE BAD BEHAVIOR
"...rather than punish or draw attention to behaviour you don't like, you should simply ignore it."
4) GOOD BOY!
Just as ignoring your partner's irritating habits will help to wean him off them, rewarding the things he does right - just as an animal trainer would - will also reinforce good behavior.
5) LURING AND BAITING
6) ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN
"you need to break the task down into baby steps and focus on the most important part of it...Overcomplicated and confused messages about what's required will get you nowhere Raising the bar not only confuses men as to what you want from them, but it also demotivates."
7) DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
"...Not taking your partner's actions personally is liberating, but no easy task. I realised that I, like many mates, took way too much personally - and often saw offence where none was intended."
8) DON'T DOMINATE
"... (should) guard against their deep instinct to boss another (person) around, as it does not encourage a positive relationship with your (man).
Instead, you have a relationship built on fear and resentment rather than one centred around trust and love."
9) PICK YOUR MOMENT
"People, like animals, aren't wired to learn or teach lessons when they're out of sorts. Instead, be sure to choose a time to 'train' your partner when you are both feeling calm and in a good mood."
10) READ THE CUES
[Source: Daily Mail]
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