Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Older Chick and Her Younger Boyfriend

What's a Singaporean chick got to do? By the time she reaches 30, most of the guys slightly older than her or same age as her would have snapped up by her peers or younger chicks, leaving the gay, weird,  commitment-wary, dead, divorced and very rarely, really shy guys (which you have no chance in meeting in the first place, until they realize that they are no longer young and they suddenly pop up.. to find younger chicks /  foreign brides to marry).

The younger guy. 

He is still hot, fun-loving and if you are lucky, he is a old soul in a younger body, and not a immature baby.  Chances are that he is good-looking and not balding which is a bonus! Best of all, he is not that long in the tooth that he is no longer adventurous, and is willing to try fun and romantic stuff. Seriously, by the time a dude reaches a certain age, he becomes so realistic and stable that getting him to do exciting, creative gestures will be like flogging a dead horse. I cite my two buddies who are coincidentally in new virgin relationships and they are so reticent in their Valentine's Day plans, which is a dead shocker to me, because I thought that after all the time they were single, they would be pulling out all the stops to surprise their chicks for their first Valentines together. I know they will tell me to grow up, or that Valentine's day is a commercialized trap, but I can't help it! (Even if I have to work for this year's V day, it's still v special to me. =D) Of course you have the people on the other tangent, who spent lots of money on V day, to buy expensive but meaningless presents for each other. 

I was delighted for a friend whose bf bought her a lot of balloons for Valentine's. I think that is a romantic gesture that only a younger guy would do. Of course this is the same guy who surprises her with picnics and thoughtful little presents. B also does such stuff too (though less spontaneous over the years, when you think back to that "ransom note" love letter he made many years ago), and he would interject here and say he is romantic everyday, which is true (though I expect him to be EXTRA ROMANTIC on Valentine's Day *keke*).

But I digress. 

Natürlich, there are cons to every relationship. A younger guy, no matter how old soul he is,  is still a younger guy. He is still figuring out his emo quirks, and is a bit unsure of himself . While he is more mature than the guys his age, he will be and always is slightly immature as compared to a 30 year old dude. Which can be a good thing when you are looking for fun and a bad thing when you are looking for commitment and settling down. Quarrels about stupid, trival things are commonplace because the guy hasn't grown old enough to become passe about such things. Worse still, Singaporean guys serve two years National service, so the younger guy will be less financially stable than his chick, because she will have worked more years and have more $$ than him. This unfortunately can have a dehabilitating effect on his ego. And because he is younger, sometimes he may have a bigger risk appetite than older guys and many business ideas, which is ambitious and entrepreneurial, but not conducive to commitment and marriage.

And most important of all, the older chick has to be a super confident woman in her own right. If not, she will live in a life of insecurity, unsure if her younger man will be tempted by younger chicks now or later. But usually she is, if not she would never start a relationship with a younger guy, because Singaporean society is still reluctant to accept sometimes especially if the age gap is BIG.

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