Sunday, August 2, 2009

Mimolette - Déjà vu of an expensive nightmare

Went for dinner at Mimolette yesterday night. Read about it in theHungryCow.

Service was terrible, the wait staff acted like they were damn atas (NOT). Someone should tell them that no matter how a customer is dressed, they should behave professionally and friendly. The only male wait staff last night was also the only one to demonstrate the redeeming qualities of an excellent service.

When we arrived without reservation (I was hesitant on going once I realised that it was next to the Bukit Timah Saddle Club. No car, long walk), the waitress immediately sized us up and declared that we were only good enough for sitting outside on the veranda. We discovered that there were many empty tables inside the air-conditioned dining room, and that the staff often chose to chuck people outside. Only when one table of expensive-looking taitais arrived and declared that they did not want to sit under the veranda fan because it was too cold (WTF???), did the wait staff deigned to offer them the indoor table. This has to be the first time I heard of air con being warmer than a fan. Yet they knew something we didn't. One of the perils of sitting outside? Insects wanting to leap into your expensive water, and then discovering they don't know how to swim.

I should have known that this meal was going to be as terrible as White Rabbit. After all, all the signs of disaster were there.

"Would Sir prefer Sparkling or Still water?"

Scheiss... Not again. This time it is Fiji water. Not that Panna 75 shit. Deadpan, I read out the label to B1. Taken from Fiji but bottled in the UK. Basically we are drinking British Tap Water. Fantastic. Since I am on an entrepreneurial bent this year, I drolly suggested to B1 that I should bottle the Merlion water, taken from Malaysia's spring (if any? Or river water. I am not fussy), transferred via causeway pipe and bottled in Singapore. Then we can sell it to all these atas establishments at the even more friendly price of S$8 a litre.

Second sign? I opened the menu and immediately saw this (circled red).

*You seriously have to read my entry on White Rabbit, in order to appreciate this experience in its full blown gory*

B1 was in a similar witty mood. After informing him that the walls next to the lavs are inundated with bunny images, he remarked that we were down the Rabbit Hole once again. An immediately wiser me chose the pasta aglio olio, angel food cake. B1 ordered two clam chowders, one quail dish (I forgot the name, but didn't forget the taste), and a merlot. I wasn't going to order any of their crap table wine.

The chef obviously scrapped off the same Dead Sea salt block for the clam chowder. The quail was stuffed with ham I think (couldn't see in the dark), and tasted like a bizarre mix of hammy and gamy. The risotto that accompanied the quail had hard rice bits and was definitely not creamy. Horrific, even the more positive B1 was turned off and refused to finish the dish. I was annoyed by the pasta, because in the menu it said that it was crab + tomato jam, and when it came, it had a distinctive PRAWN-like fragrance, which I absolutely hate. First of all, it is not supposed to be wet, and I am pretty sure it was cooked with some seafood broth. The supposed Pièce de résistance (declared by the waiter as the most popular dish) was absolutely yucky. It was an incoherent mix of way too much cream, fresh and preserved fruit, some odd macarons-like biscuits (which B1 pronounced as an Ang mo abbrieviation of the white Chinese biscuit), a custard sauce and an incredibly dry sponge. Just look at the image below and you will weep. In retaliation, I created an impression of what I thought of the meal with the leftover cream.

I know of a certain cow that needs to be hauled out to the barn and shot between the eyes. I should have known from his entry on Saizeriya that he is either the type to write optimistically, or wants to sabotage others into eating the same crap so he wouldn't feel bad for having done so.

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