Just before I woke up, I dreamed (note: this blog is following Amerikaner Englisch) that I woke up and discovered I had a lot of emails from all my friends. 1 from NN, 1 from MB, 1 from K, 1 from HM, and the rest from my non-COH friends. I was very happy... and then I woke up. I know one of my new year's resolutions was to have lesser expectations of others' kindness (I tend to expect too much of others so it makes me very disappointed and later angry. I cannot help it because loyalty is #1 to me and I can't forget easily even if I forgive readily. I especially hate people who break promises or fuck with me generally) but I could not help being sad.
Reluctantly I opened my email (out of habit), knowing reality is never the same as dreams, but still hoping.
I discovered that I had emails from HM and Frau HM. Relief then happiness again. They were super sweet during New Year's. I had stopped writing to them, because I was very upset and stressed in the last week of 2011, and I didn't want to spread my emo via the emails, which I am wont to do, though I doubt my German is strong enough to be able to do that well. They actually wrote me. I almost cried.
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