Saturday, November 7, 2009

Mouth Restaurant (Toa Payoh Safra branch) sucks! Tried to 加料 with a hard plastic shard

I wasn't planning to do a review or take photos this time. After all, it was a birthday celebration.

But the motherfucking place tried to murder me. Usually I gobble my food like there is a famine coming, but now and then I like to pretend I am atas and admire the food when I am actually trying to figure out the ingredients or I don't trust the cook. While admiring the glossy sheen on the piece of pork rib, I noticed that there was an additional gleam in one small area. A more critical eye detected a FUCKING SHARD OF PLASTIC clinging to the meat. Not the plastic that comes from plastic bags, it looked like it came from a plastic plate, the kind that will cut a lovely path down the esophagus.

To say I was pissed would be an understatement. Thoughts similar to "you fucking tried to murder me" crossed my mind as I beckoned the hovering waitress (the restaurant had only three tables occupancy that night). The restaurant staff tried to downplay the event, the bloody cheek of them, by saying "oh, we will fry you a new plate."

Like I god damn will appreciate a new plate of dangerous Schweinfleisch. What if it had been my long-sighted parents who cannot see very well!!!

And also, new plate my giant ass. They basically washed the gravy off the rest of the pieces on the plate they hurriedly took back to the kitchen, and added a few new pieces and frying them in the apple sauce (which tasted more like plum sauce with bits of green apple to help the masquerading as apple sauce. Talk about 挂羊头卖狗肉) . They obviously didn't know that they tried to kill the person with the most critical palate at that table, and that deep fried meat that was coated in sauce and then washed with water (Vater loved imagining it as the cook's saliva) before recoating in sauce again, is not going to retain the sauce that easily the second time. Most of the pieces were soggy and mushy upon biting. And the color is different!!! How dare they pawned this washed down shit on us again.

After that, I took out my phone. I was going to make sure I captured everything in its entirety.

We had the terrifying pork ribs in apple sauce, seafood noodles, crabs deep fried with salted yolk, seafood tofu claypot, and Kai Lan fried with smoked duck. S$126 after discount (not discount for nearly cutting my throat, but SAFRA discount). Not worth the price nor the trauma. The seafood noodles itself was S$24 and a dull color with a few measly pieces of thinly-chopped scallops. Tasted ok. The KaiLan fried with smoked duck tasted gamy, but intriguing. Too shiny (meaning oily), though.

The seafood tofu claypot is nothing much to write about, but the crab deep fried with salted yolk was pretty bad. It had the right level of saltiness from the salted egg yolk, and was served prettily on a bed of mesclun salad. Unfortunately the bloody crab was not cooked thoroughly. How would I know? Because the claw meat still clung to the shell...My mother, god bless her gourmand soul, was the only one who wanted to order the crab but refused to eat it after the battle with the claw which refused to give up its meat.

This has to be the second worst birthday celebration meal since my mother's snow crab fiasco.

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