Thursday, December 23, 2010

Boys of a Feather

I vote this as the most adorable book I have read all year. The authors Amy Helmes and Meg Leder have categorized North American males into 20 species of birds, e.g. the Fowl, Eagle, Chicken, Night Owl. Each has its variants and subspecies, descriptions and extremely amusing detailed analysis of its personality. It's like a fictional (or is it non-fictional? I am inclined to read it as a fiction) retaliation on all those nasty lists that men rate women on hotness.

At the end of the book is a test of 159 questions that allows you to decipher what kind of bird man you want. Haha. This has to be the pièce de résistance (if it were food) of the entire book. Hahaha. Time consuming but the results are hilarious.

I asked all the girls in the office to try. In the end, everyone except me had clear results on their birdman, I suspect it is probably because they tended to skip questions which context they didn't understand. I had gotten frustrated explaining some of the terms or North American personalities, e.g. Will Ferrell, toot your own horn etc. Mine was a horrific mix with at least 6 categories being almost equally high. But I decided to ignore the rest and stick to the top ones (I had two highest) of the Swan and the Parakeet. 

When I read the description on the two birds, I have to say I found the birds quite appealing and therefore , the test results fairly accurate *haha*. "Swans have a graceful sublime quality that's easy to fall for. Like their avian counterparts (who inspired a classical ballet), Swan boys have a way of holding you spell-bound as they epitomize a heroic, unsullied aesthetic dreamscape full of metaphorical pirouettes and grande jetes.... Picturesque display of romance are part of the Swan's courtship ritual. While ambling down a busy sidewalk, he may suddenly grab you by the shoulders to face him, cradle your face in his hands, and bestow upon you a lengthy tender kiss after uttering a profundity like "Your stunning visage negates all the world's harsheness and sorrow." Or he'll stop you in the middle of the cereal aisle at the supermarket and slow dance with you during a particularly moving rendition of George Michael's "Careless Whisper". "

Whoah...^^. Tell me where to find a swan, man. Well, until the next page, when I realize that I do not have the personality or looks or determination to snare me a swan. Hahaha. Oopz. Next better bird. 

"Parakeets are sweet-natured homebodies who rarely buck the rules or raise a fuss. Truly domesticated and agreeable to a fault, the Parakeet truly believes there's no place like home. Rather than drinking with the guys after work, he comes home for dinner every night promptly at 5.30. Generally easy to get along with, he doesn't shirk household chores and is quite "well-trained"... Reliable and consistent, the Parakeet won't stand you up on dates. (He's the type who shows up fifteen minutes early and then circles the hood in his car until he's five minutes past perfectly punctual). He'll agree to any activity you've planned but is generally content to curl up with you, a movie rental and a carton of Chinese takeout - or the "pheasant under glass with a white wine reduction" he can whip up for you in twenty minutes flat."

^^ This fits B1 to a T, except for the cooking part, though that is also a plus for me, because I don't like competition (nor criticism) in the kitchen. Every woman should get a Parakeet, even if sometimes, they are boring. 

It will be great if I could have a Swan and Parakeet hybrid but it is not meant to be....Nonetheless I am still pretty satisfied with what I have gotten =D 

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