Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Man who Feels too Deeply until a point of Delusion

He was a man with simple pleasures.  However as the years swept past, he became increasingly aware of how lonely he was, surrounded by couples and families. It was then he noticed her.

She was working in the neighbouring cubicle. Quiet and demure, she fitted into his ideal. Somehow without realising it, he fell in love with her. Inexperienced in the matters of love, his "subtle" methods of gaining her attention were teasing her gently, and trying to organise more outings so that he could "wrangle" her from the rest of the crowd and get to know her better. He began to visualise growing old with her, living their happy lives with simple pleasures.

Unfortunately his love was unrequited. She was interested in another colleague, who happened to be working in the same project as him. He refused to heed well-meaning friends and colleagues' warnings and confessed to her.

She rejected him outright. "I am with [your colleague]."

He was devastated, his world suddenly torn apart. Suddenly it became acute that the two lovebirds had been flirting and joking in front of him, when previously he could not see that. Now that he could see, it hurt him even more. He began to avoid them.

He could not believe that the other party had not told him earlier about his intentions towards her, even though he himself had not done the same to the other party. He was disappointed, confused and angry. Every thing that the other man did, no matter how little and innocent, was a slight against him. His dispassion made him a bitter man who lashed out at others.

Gossip about her and him fed him false hope. Instead of moving on, he persisted in the image that she was merely using the other party as a decoy so as to refuse him. After all, wasn't that what girls do in movies? As long as she and he were not together, he still had a chance. So instead of avoiding them, he switched to sticking to them like a burr, following them everywhere. He leapt at every facial twinge that the woman made, interpreting and analysing if it were a sign that all was not right with the couple.

Sad man. Lonely man. He who feels too deeply, hurts too deeply as well.

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