Sunday, January 9, 2011

WTF was he thinking when he gave the Japanese Cheesecake recipe?!

So I remembered to bring the recipe home this time (you know, the recipe that my colleague generously allowed me to tear out from her magazine)? 

I was supposed to make it on Saturday afternoon, but due to lack of zzz, I slept away poor Saturday afternoon, and thus only bought the ingredients later after dinner. There were so many people at Phoon Huat, I think it's because it's near CNY and everyone is preparing pineapple tarts. I remembered I took a shortcut last year and bought ready made pineapple paste which I "tartised" with lemon juice but Vater said it still tasted awful. 

Should I bake some this year? Maybe if I am unlucky enough to be stuck in Singapore during this period.

But I digress. It was during shopping, I realised that the Arschloch who gave the recipe for this cake, quoted ingredients for 2 X 1 kg cakes. WTF? Who does 2 kg cakes at home? Seriously. No wonder the quantities were massive. So I had to immediately divide the ingredients into smaller portions, which annoyed me a lot because it is never accurate. When we got home (I couldn't buy any erdbeer, because they were very expensive at NTUC, and even more so at the other supermarket *disappointed*), B1 convinced me to make the jelly first. Anyway the butter had to melt so ok, I started making the agar agar jelly with leftover milk (see other post), after I saved some for this recipe.

By the time the stupid butter melted and I convinced the hapless B1 to beat the butter with icing sugar to make my sugar base (for the recipe), while I whipped the egg whites for the cake mixture. Lesson No 1. Make the stupid sugar base the day before. By the time the dough finished sulking in the fridge for half an hour, it was 1115pm. zzz.

I delayed mixing the egg whites with the rest of the cake mixture so that my egg whites could lend some structure to the cake, but I had to clean the dishes otherwise I would be super exhausted. Lesson No 2. Should have practised Lesson No 1. And fuck the dishes. 

In the end I had to BLAST the hell out of the cookie with a fan when it finally came out of the oven. Lesson No 3. Trim the edges of the cookie before you push it into the cake tin. My stupid cookie cracked down the middle because I forced it down in my eagerness. 

Had to move it to the edge of the table in order to pick it up
I noticed that the f*^%#t did not mention wrapping the cake tin with aluminum foil in his recipe but luckily I saw in the photo that he did, and did that too.Which brings us to Lesson No 4. What bakes cupcakes perfectly may not bake whole cakes easily.

My Vater's oven is such a bitch, esp since the great stupid Japanese festival adventure we had in August, which nearly killed it. While it used to bake cupcakes perfectly, now it takes me 5 fucking hours to bake the mother fucking cake.

I slept at 5, and it still wasn't dry. I had to zap the damn cake in the microwave when I woke up. Thanks to all my misadventures... the cake turned out edible but not as light as it should be. I am very angry.

Oh ya. I forgot Lesson No 5. Use a fucking mixing machine and stop being a purist. I wanted to minimize noise because it was so late already, and I hate using the machine because it was a bitch to clean. I forgot that the cake was a bitch to make by hand. First we have to beat the cookie dough mixture, then the cheesecake mixture and whip the egg whites. *Faint*

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